


The Planet Sanses

by EmmaraldNightmare



Series: Blood Moon Series [4]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Anti-Void (Undertale), BITTIES, Baked Goods, Balloon Animals, Bonding, Chocolate, Cute blue, Dress Up, Drunken Flirting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fireworks, Fluff and Angst, Gaster Blasters, Gen, Kidnapping, Major Character Injury, Protective Dust, Snowball Fight, Spiders, Swearing, Theatre, Threats, Underfell, code names, disguises, knife games, playing heroes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:54:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25697644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmmaraldNightmare/pseuds/EmmaraldNightmare
Summary: When Blue needed help spreading positivity in the multiverse and the other Star Sanses were busy, he did the only thing he could think of.He asked the gang instead.This is a group of one shots based around the Dark Sanses being forced to dress up as heroes and help out around the multiverse. Mostly light hearted fun with a little fluff and angst thrown in.Suggestions are welcome.
Series: Blood Moon Series [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1783549
Comments: 91
Kudos: 148





	1. Fun in Underfell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang try to spread happiness in Underfell.
> 
> This chapter follows Dust and Fresh isn’t here so a swear warning in now in effect.

He’d die first.

Dust speed walked away from the little skeleton who was hot on his heels. He kept turning his skull every time the other tried to catch his eye. Maybe if he kept it up long enough Blue would get bored and go away. 

So far, it wasn’t working.

“Pllleeaasse, it’s just for one night.” Blue said. “Dream and Ink are busy and I promised I’d spread some positivity in Underfell.”

“Go alone.” Dust replied. 

Was Blue insane? He had better things to do than babysit some brats in a run-down AU. Besides, they were the Dark Sanses. Villains, feared across the Multiverse, abandon all hope all those who crossed their path yadda yadda. 

They weren’t heroes and he wasn’t about to get dressed up as one even for a day, even for Blue. 

Hell no!

The little Sans flashed his best wide-eyed expression at him. The starry eye lights grew several new sparkles as he spoke. “I don’t want to. Pllleeaasse. Pretty pretty please with whipped cream and a cherry on top.”

Dust cringed away. That tone was so sweet he could get cavities just by listening to it.

Blue leaned in closer. “And lots of chocolate sprinkles?”

No! That stupid trick worked on Error, sometimes it even worked on Nightmare. But he’d already made up his mind. It wasn’t working on him, no, no, NO!

\-----

Dammit.

The purple gloves’ scratchy material dug into his hands. He tried to yank off the shoulder pads before Blue noticed. 

“Hey!” Killer called. “Are you dressed yet?”

Dust slunk out from behind the couch and gazed at the others. Cross looked like he felt. The small skeleton rolled along the carpet, tangling himself in a web of spandex and fuming at the black material. A white scarf bound his arms. Apparently, being skilled with one type of complicated clothing didn’t make you an expert. 

Killer wasn’t having any better luck. He had managed to get the black gloves, trousers and grey shirt on. He had even managed to keep his soul inside his chest where no one would see it. But, he cringed away every time Blue tried to insert his contact lenses or pull a scarf over the lower half of his face to hide the tear marks.

This was a disaster. Dust stumbled forward and almost tripped over his own feet. How did Blue even walk in these heeled boots? The three of them looked like the main characters in a child’s cartoon meant to sell cheap merchandise for fucks sake. All in silly identical battle bodies Blue had handmade to match his. What was Nightmare thinking sending them out like this? He pulled the shirt over his skull.

The dark skeleton tapped his phalanges against the armrest of his chair. “You can’t be recognised. It’s this or the clothes Fresh gave you again.” 

Dust lowered the shirt and put in his own contacts.

Blue finally won the struggle with Killer. He stood, puffed out his chest and addressed the group. 

“You all look great! Now we need codenames!”

The trio groaned, hadn’t they suffered enough?

“Since we already have a team of heroism named the Star Sanses you can be the Planet Sanses.” Blue said. 

“Jupiter!” He pointed to Dust.

“Saturn!” Killer.

“Mercury!” Cross.

“Earth!” Himself.

“You don’t need a codename Blue and we’re missing a few members.” Dust said. 

He wandered over to Cross to untie the clothing ensnaring him. The other Sans’ body sagged. He made no effort to be of any help in freeing himself. Dust shook his skull; he was probably just pissed off at being named for the smallest planet. 

Blue pouted. “I couldn’t find Papy or Horror.”

Dust huffed. Cowards, they had abandoned the AU and gone into hiding as soon as Blue started recruiting…why hadn’t he thought of that?

He finished getting Cross dressed and turned to the tar coated skeleton in the armchair. “What about you?”

“Keeping the negative side of the balance.” Nightmare said. He pulled out his phone and checked his schedule. “Error and I can’t really disguise ourselves and there’s a few AUs to destroy today before they collide.”

Dust dove at Nightmare. “Take me with you!” 

The other newly dubbed Planet Sanses took a limb each and dragged him through a portal.

\-----

Snow crunched under Dust’s feet as he strode through the starlit forest. For a moment, he was grateful for the high boots and heels. Not for keeping the frozen slush off his bones but, for creating a barrier between him and the dense powder mixed into it. His namesake was everywhere. It brushed his cheek in the wind. It coated the dead trees like moss. He was used to it of course; death was part of his day to day life. However, that was quick, that had purpose, a positive outcome. This place was eerily silence. No owls, no mice, as if everything was too scared of everything else to make a sound. It wasn’t death. It was fear. Dust shivered. Just like home. 

A snow poff exploded as Dust kicked it. Now what?

After an hour of trudging, the group turned a corner in the rotting woods and halted in their tracks. A herd of ten children skidded on a frozen lake. Their eyes watched each other with rapt attention, twitching occasionally whenever another monster made a sudden move. Strips of torn clothing whipped the air. The children circled around each other in what could either be some twisted game or the start of a mass fight. Who could really tell in a place like this? 

One bear monster noticed them. He stiffed. In his surprise he missed a step and tripped over his own feet. His expression shifted into goofy wide-eyed shock as he was sent reeling into a snowbank.

The tips of Dust’s mouth rose. He shook his skull. Hero…right…don’t laugh at the poor clumsy dummy. He could be hurt. Dust crouched down beside the child. “Are you okay kid?”

Snow flew in every direction as the monster burst from the pile with a cheer. “Hey! It’s Blue!”

Chilly clumps of the stuff splattered Dust’s skull. He fell backwards. A tiny mob of shoes trampled his body into the ground. All tension forgotten as they charged. Chattering, yappy voices surrounded the skeletons, all pushing, punching and screaming to be heard first.

“Where were you?!”

“Who’re they?”

“Did you bring us more snacks?”

Dust spat out the gritty snow and rubbed at his sore bones. Fucking ungrateful brat! 

He sunk away while Blue introduced everyone to the swarm. 

A tug on his sleeve turned his attention downwards. Twinkling green eyes stared up at him from a tiny rabbit monster. The girl was barefoot with only a thin frayed dress to cover her patchy fur. She couldn’t have been more than five. What was she doing dressed like that in this weather and at this time of night? 

He blinked at her.

“Are you a real superhero?” she asked.

“…Yeah,” Dust said.

“With magic?” Her eyes grew bigger.

A blaster popped into existence to the girl’s left. She gasped, darting around the skull and waving her hands under it. Dust smirked and pointed up. 

Shots lit up the sky with purple explosions. The other children fell silent, lost in the sceptical. Cross and Killer snorted to each other before joining in. Fireworks of every size and shape coloured the night sky red, white and violet. Each more dazzling or more unusual than the last. The trio’s phalanges rose and fell, orchestrating the skulls through the shrieking beams, roaring blasts and sizzling bursts of light. Years of practise guided every motion. 

The air grew silent after the last shot. The trio turned to their audience. With a bow, Dust ended the show to resounding applause. 

Each adult in the crowd split off to continue the fun in their own way. Giggling kids followed like ducklings.

The girl hadn’t left Dust’s side. Rather, as soon as the show stopped, she clambered on top of his blaster and tried to cuddle it. Her tiny hands couldn’t even reach the sides but, it didn’t stop her trying. She squeaked when it lifted her into the air. Her tiny body shook with excitement as she clutched the skull and gawked down at him.

“Higher!” she said. 

Dust obliged. He jumped as several more kids surrounded him, begging him to ‘let us try too! Please, please, please!’

Why not? Pops signalled the summoning of three more blasters. After he broke up a few fights over who got which one he stood back and let the skulls zigzag through the trees freely. The kids hooted. A few scooped-up snowballs before boarding. Soggy slush rained onto Dust when they started a mid-air snowball fight. 

A chuckle escaped him. He had never seen that before. The little buggers were more creative than he thought.

“What are you doing?!” Blue said. The little skeleton rushed over. He inhaled as a snowball splattered into one of the children, causing them to wobble before righting themselves and returning fire.

Dust smirked at him. “Having some fun. Wanna join?” 

“No! This is child endangerment! Bring them down!” 

Dust shrugged, he held up a phalange. “First, it’s Underfell. They’re already endangered.” Another phalange joined the first. “Second, you don’t seem to have any problem with _Saturn_ teaching the kids how to play five finger fillet.”

“What’s that?” Blue asked.

A gesture turned the smaller San’s attention to a circle cleared of snow nearby. Killer held his hand flat against the ground. A knife hovered over it. His young audience gasped as the blade blurred, stabbing wildly at the area between his phalanges in rapid succession. The grinning skeleton whipped his weapon up with a flourish and flexed his hand to show the unmarked bones to a row of gaping expressions.

He held his blade out to them. “Who’s first?”

Blue screamed. Dust was left alone as he bolted off shouting questions about the other skeleton’s sanity.

Well, what did he expect? They weren’t exactly Mary Poppins. All the same, Dust whistled to the blasters. Children tumbled off the skulls with wide grins. They bounced to their feet and ran off to check out the new show he had set off nearby. 

A few opted for Cross’ performance. Balloons squeaked under the still monochrome skeleton’s phalanges. Whimsums, Froggits, Temmies, a multitude of colourful rubber monsters flew into tiny grasping hands. Dust’s eye lights glowed. This must be like Giftmas coming early for them. Did they ever get to celebrate fun just for the sake of it here? Did Underfell even have Giftmas? He wasn’t really sure. 

Something squeezed his legs. The girl from earlier looked up at him with the same wagging tail and perky ears. Cold radiated from her snow-soaked clothing. Her smiling face didn’t give anything away but, her body shivered against his. Well, Giftmas needed presents right?

Dust unwrapped the scarf from his throat and twisted it around the rabbit child. She clutched at it, gaze wandering between the soft material and him. Dust put a phalange to his mouth in a shhh gesture. Her face lit up. 

“Thank you, mister,” she said before dancing off. The gift flowed in the breeze behind her.

It was nice to actually be praised for his efforts for once. For someone to actually be grateful for what he was doing for them. Being a hero wasn’t so hard. Eat your hearts out Star Sanses!

“Who’re you freak?”

Dust snapped around at the gruff voice behind him. 

Shit! Maybe fireworks hadn’t been the best idea. 

He let out a breath when he saw the asshole that had startled him. Red bared his teeth. The skeleton stood with his chest puffed out in a stance Dust supposed was meant to be intimidating. But it just made him look like he was about to topple backwards…or suffocate. He had to remind himself that pushing the idiot to see which it was wouldn’t be helpful. 

“Well? Are you deaf as well as stupid looking?” Red asked.

Double shit. Was he expected to speak to him? How the hell did do-gooders talk?

Red snarled. “SAY SOMETHING, YOU PURPLE BASTARD!” 

Hell! Just act like Blue! Act like Blue!

Dust put his hands on his hips and struck the small skeleton’s signature pose. “Hello citizen! Do not be concerned at our presence here! How are you and what can the Marvellous Jupiter of the Planet Sanses do to assist you?! Muahahaha!!!”

His eye twitched. Heat rose to his skull.

A few feet away, Blue halted in his lecture to watch the exchange and if that was a phone in Killer’s hand Dust was going to fucking murder him.

Red scoffed. His eye lights ran over Cross. The black and white skeleton squirmed under three kids demanding piggyback rides.

“Where did Blue dig up that pansy?” he asked.

Dust’s eye lights flared. What?

“Brainless marshmallow looks like he could be dusted by a mouse.”

WHAT?!

A trembling grin split Dust’s skull. He let his voice rise to a high cutesy tone like Blue had used. “Well golly gee. I may not look it but, I’m pretty tough. I betcha I could teach you a thing or two. Come on!”

Twigs cracked under his feet as he pranced into the trees, trying to imitate the way the hyper Sans hopped from place to place sometimes.

Red rolled his eye lights at the display. Yet, he followed. 

Dust led him deeper into the woods where the tree branches blocked out the starlight and more importantly…where no one would hear them. He stopped.

Red let out a dark chuckle. “Well wuss. Do you really-“

Bone spikes burst from the ground beneath him, holding Red in the air by his clothes. Several scrapped against his limbs as they shot through the fabric. Marrow leaked from the cuts. The tough guy wannabe quivered. He stared at the spears as if he expected them to disappear like a bad dream. 

“What the-“

A bone blade thrust up against his throat shut him up.

“Now I’m supposed to be on my best behaviour today.” Dust said. “So, I’m going to let you off with a warning. If you ever insult my brother again, I will find you, I will shove my arm down your throat, PULL OUT YOUR SPINE AND USE IT AS A FUCKING BACKSCRATCHER! IS THAT CLEAR?!”

Red’s eye lights vanished. Dust removed the blade so the other skeleton could nod like his life depended on it.

“Good.” 

The spikes disappeared and let Red fall to the ground with a thump. 

Dust winked at him. “Remember this is our little secret. Toodles.”

He left Red shaking in the snow and strode back to his family. Killer saw him approach first. His eye sockets narrowed. “What did you do?”

“Nothing you can prove.” Dust said.

Being a hero had turned out to be a lot more fun than he expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is wondering, yes, Killer got some excellent video footage that day. Also, don’t try Killer’s game at home. He’s not a good role model when it comes to safety.
> 
> I might continue this idea in future if I can think of a storyline I like. No promises as I don't have anything right now, but if anyone wants to leave a suggestion for an act of heroism they'd like to see the Dark Sanses tackle I'll happily listen in the comments.


	2. Venus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Planet Sanses promised Blue they would try to recruit Error. Now they just need to decide who gets to ask him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic will likely continue as a group of one shots following this premise. Inspiration struck and I'll add to this it whenever it does.

The Dark Sanses’ kitchen was never meant to be still. At least, Horror wished it was a different type of still or that the moment had the decency to be quiet. 

He lent his skull against his hand and poked at the silk bag in the center of the table. The rocking of Dust’s chair was drilling into his last nerve but, he wasn’t any better. The woolly scarf around his neck would fall apart if he pulled out anymore fluff. Killer leaned against the fridge and picked at his teeth with a knife. Forget the chair. That scraping noise was worse.

Putting this off wouldn’t change anything. Yet, like the other two, Horror had spent the last thirty minutes staring at the sack as if the answer to their current problem would burst out of it if he waited long enough.

Life was never that easy.

Asking Error to spread positivity was like asking a shark to go vegan, and anyone who tried it had the self-preservation instincts of someone flipping off a gaster blaster while simultaneously screaming that Death had poor taste in romantic partners.

Yet, here they were, deciding who was about to go swimming.

He would’ve stuck an axe through the skull of the person who agreed to this plan, if that person wasn’t him. Damn Blue. Why was he so cute and why did he have to be off on a different mission at a time like this? 

“So, should we all draw lots at the same time or is someone feeling brave?” Dust asked.

“Same time,” Horror said. “If we do it fast there’s less chance of someone making a run for it.”

The trio each closed their eyes and placed a hand in the bag. Pieces of paper within scratched against Horror’s bones. He grit his teeth and snatched the closest. There was no point trying to choose ‘a lucky one.’ Everyone opened their eyes.

“Horror loses,” Killer said. 

Furniture crashed across the room as Horror dove for the door. He got halfway before Dust’s magic caught his soul and dragged him back. 

The hooded skeleton gave him a sadistic grin. “Hypocrite.”

“Don’t act like you wouldn’t have done the same.” Horror said.

Dust placed a hand on his chest. His eyes widened. “I’m offended…I would’ve made it.”

Horror stuck his tongue out at him. With no other choice, he scooped the sleek outfit Blue had made for the destroyer off the kitchen counter and opened a portal to the anti-void.

“Any last words.” Killer asked. 

“Yeah. Dust hacked your phone and deleted everything.”

On that bombshell, he raced into the white landscape leaving the sounds of disbelief and daggers far behind him.

\-----

The anti-void was a nice place to visit but, you wouldn’t want to live there. Not unless going bonkers or having your code fall apart was on your bucket list. It wasn’t on Horror’s. The endless blankness and sea of hanging human souls were bad enough. But, the whispers were the real kicker, always a little too low to be heard but, always there. 

He wrapped his arms around himself. His teeth chattered. Error claimed he could understand them. Even hold long, vigorous conversations with them. Yep, the glitch was nutty as a fruitcake. Their hostile, short tempered, world destroying fruitcake, and he was there to ask him to dress up in spandex and come with them to spread joy and happiness across the multiverse.

Yay.

Horror eventually found Error lounging on a blue beanbag in the middle of a mountain of candy bar wrappers. Snores resounded from the glitch’s mouth as his chest rose and fell. Horror let himself stand in awe for a minute. Was it even possible to eat yourself into a chocolate coma? He lived with _Cross_ and had never seen anyone consume half their body weight in sugar before. 

Where had it all even come from?! Error must’ve been collecting these for weeks! Or Underfell was going to need a new shopping district. 

On the bright side, this was a perfect excuse to get the hell out of there. Blue wouldn’t want Error to come along if he had a chocolate induced hangover…neither would they. 

His body stiffened at the other's voice when he tried to leave.

“WhaT’d yoU waNt HorroR?”

Damn. No going back now.

He turned. The other skeleton rubbed the bone between his eye sockets and stared at him as if he was unsure what he was even looking at. His red glasses clattered when he put them on. 

“WhAt thE helL arE you WeaRing?” Error asked. A scrunched expression crossed his skull.

It was clearly dawning on the glitch that the red battle body and scarf on Horror’s bones were real. At least he wasn’t wearing the helmet and visor to cover his skull. There was no faster way to end up as dust on a yard of string than to approach Error without being easily identifiable as someone ‘not currently on the hit list.’

“It was Blue’s idea.” Horror said. “He wants us to help spread positivity when his schedule gets too full.” 

Error stood. He kicked some of the litter into a newly opened portal, ignoring the cursing of whatever unlucky soul was on the other side. 

“And yOu caMe hEre to WhaT? Let ME laugh at yOu? It’s WorkInG So faR.” He booted a bowling ball through the portal and sniggered as the cursing shifted into X rated territory. 

Horror swallowed hard. “No…I wanted to know if you would join.”

The portal snapped shut. Error turned his skull slowly towards him. “Is thaT a joKe?”

“No!” Horror shook his skull rapidly. “I even brought you an outfit; you always make stuff for other people so maybe you’ll like this. I mean you don’t have to. That’s your choice but, I think-“

The fabric slapped at Horror’s hands as Error snatched the costume out of his grasp. He turned it over, tugged at the stitching and made a face.

It wasn’t quite the same as the clothing Blue had made for the rest of the gang. For one thing, this costume included a mask to cover the destroyer’s black skull and a voice filter to muffle his unique speech pattern. There was even a device Blue had pestered from Sci to hide the orbiting glitches. Also-

“Its PinK.” Error said. His phalanges tightened on the rosy material.

“Well…yes.” Horror replied. He took a step back.

“WIth…Little HearTs.” 

Horror shivered. His position on that hit list was looking more precarious by the second. 

“Is…tHis…gliTTer?” 

“It’s not for no reason!” Horror said, waving his hands. “You see we’re all stuck using the names of planets in this group. I got Mars which is why I’m in red and you got Venus. The planet itself isn’t pink and no one thinks you’re soft or anything but, it was named for the Roman goddess of love, desire and beauty so the costume sort of-“

A sharpened sting stopped short of impaling his skull. Horror stared at it for a moment, and then let his gaze wander to the other skeleton. Error scowled at him. The costume lay discarded by his feet. Five more of the deadly strands clung to his free hand.

“HorrOr…You havE thirtY SecondS.”

He gave the glitch a trembling smile. “To..to convince you?”

“To RuN.”

Yes, that sounded like a good idea. Wait, maybe he could try Blue’s trick. How much deader could he get at this point anyway?

Horror pulled his fists under his chin in a cutesy pose. His eye widened as much as was physically possible. He tried to picture fluffy kittens, sunshine and whatever the hell else might get him out of this alive. “Pleeease Ruru. Just once?”

Error cringed. “Ew. Now iT’s TeN SecondS.”

Ouch. He knew he wasn’t as cuddly as Blue, hole in the head and all. But, that was a bit harsh. Oh well, at least he tried.

Horror ran for it.

\-----

The tiled kitchen floor was cool against Horror’s skull. He lay there for several moments thanking whatever stroke of luck had got him out of that one. 

Dust looked up from the bandage he was wrapping around his femur. “He didn’t want to join then?” 

Horror groaned.

“Thought not. But, we still have to go right?”

Horror groaned louder.

Killer tossed a broom at the pair. “Never mind that, will one of you help me sweep up these candy wrappers?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That didn't go well. Acting like Blue doesn't really work for them does it?
> 
> Let me know what you think and I'm still happy to listen to any ideas in the comments.


	3. Bitty Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Horror and Dust volunteer at a bitty shelter. This idea was suggested by Lemon_Turtle so kudos to them and I hope this does it justice.

This was new. Usually, an angry mob would’ve shown up by now.

Electronic doors slid open to a vast room filled with aisles of chattering humans and tiny scrambling feet. Smiling faces beamed from colourful posters proclaiming tag lines like ‘endless joy’ and ‘your best friend for life.’ Clearly written by an overworked, out of touch marketer who had never stepped foot anywhere near an Edgy with a teething problem.

Why were they here again? Other than it being a better option than round two with Error.

A light-haired human with dishevelled clothing and more body odour than sense almost knocked him into a flyer stand as they approached the front desk.

The suicidal flesh bag stumbled back and gave the pair a scrunched scowl. “Watch it asshole.”

“Sorry,” Dust said, clenching his teeth. “It was rude of me to get in the way of a man with a broken leg.”

“I don’t have a broken leg you skeleton freak.”

Dust gave him a sickly-sweet grin. “I can fix th...arrgghhh!”

Pain burrowed though his toes as Horror’s boot ground into them. Come on! He had been kidding...mostly.

The man muttered something about ‘monster trash,’ under his breath and slunk off towards the food section. Dust’s hand twitched. If he wasn’t in costume and one of the deadliest murderers in the multiverse wasn’t holding his foot hostage that would’ve gone differently. 

He slammed his fist down on the desk bell several times in rapid succession. After the eighth tortured ring another human scurried out from a back room, patting down her uniform. At least this one looked like she’d had a bath in the last month.

“Hello, I’m Carol and welcome to Bitty Care. How can I help?” she asked, pushing her dark hair out of her face and rescuing the bell from Dust’s rage. 

“Mars and Jupiter. Volunteering,” Dust said. “Blue sent us.”

Carol lit up. With a wave, she led them to the back of the room and introduced them to another skeleton in a battle body. He was sitting on the wooden floor engaged in some kind of fight with a cardboard box. The box was winning easily. It snarled, thrashed and swore at the Papyrus who was probably regretting putting his hands anywhere inside it. 

“Ouch, come now is that any way to behave? Let’s be civilised about this and put the glass shard down. Where did you even get that?” Papyrus said. He yelped again.

Dust checked his contact lens were firmly in place before moving closer. He hadn’t expected to run into Comic’s brother here of all places. But there were worse people to be stuck in a room with. Horror could attest to that. 

Inside the box a tiny Horror and Dust bitty shrank away from the thick scratched up gloves. Their eye lights flickered warily at the new visitors. The Horror stepped forward, shielding its friend. Its body slumped against the back of the box. But it didn’t put down its weapon.

“Hi Papyrus.” Carol said. “Still not eating? Did they even sleep last night?”

Papyrus shook his head. He moved a cookie towards the pair and was jabbed again. 

Horror scoffed. He snatched the box of snacks away and stuffed one into his own mouth. “You’re both ungrateful asses.”

A frown crossed Papyrus’ skull. “I hardly think-“

Dust placed a hand on his arm. His counterpart bitty poked its skull over the top of the box and glared at the skeleton chewing noisily with his back to it. Blue magic lit up the cookie in Horror’s grasp. But he held on too tight for it to make any difference. The glow intensified. Tiny Dust chuckled as the other skeleton’s teeth snapped down on nothing. With a flick of its wrist the snack flew into the box. Exaggerated chewing noises and the occasional cry of ‘ours!’ followed.

Carrol stared. “I thought that would’ve been more of a trick for a Horror.”

“Nah.” Horror said, pulling out another cookie and watching it zip away too. “Horrors are just misunderstood hungry little guys. Dusts are bastards who love causing trouble. Even if it’s just petty food theft.”

Dust kicked him. The other’s eye light twinkled. If that smile was any wider the top of his skull would’ve fallen off. 

“Oh yeah?” Dust scooped up the Horror bitty. Papyrus paled. He thrust a pair of padded gloves at him and was waved away.

Sharp teeth pierced Dust’s left thumb. The sting wasn’t anything special. If his scars from the original hadn’t broken him when they first met what made this punk think he could?

While the bitty was distracted he snuck his other hand under its shirt and tickled at its ribs. The hard, scarred bones squirmed against his phalanges in response. Squeaks escaped the tiny thing but, it clamped down harder, trying to muffle the noise. Oh...it was like that? 

Dust moved his phalanges to the spine and concentrated his attention on a sensitive spot below the ribcage. That did it. The teeth released his bones with a gasp. Light, musical laughter that really didn’t suit the other’s vicious image resounded from the bitty’s mouth as it fell back against his palm.

“Isn’t it adorable?” Dust asked. “Horrors may look like they’d bite your head off if you let them, and they would. But, they’re also stupidly ticklish if you know where to attack.” 

The bitty’s eye light glowed. It let out a sigh as Dust stopped his assault and rubbed slow circles into its skull, avoiding the hole. 

Horror rolled his own eye light. The Dust bitty swore at him when he snatched it up by the hood.

“Such language,” he said, wrapping it up into a ball with his scarf. The cursing slowed then faded when he pulled it close to his soul and rocked it, gently massaging the bundle. However, it still made a valiant effort at struggling.

“Dusts also say they hate hugs. Proud idiots. You’ll only get results if you can force them into it. But, it’s worth it.”

He hummed a soft, haunting lullaby Dust recognised as something Nightmare would sing to them if they were sick or going through an ‘episode.’ He let the other’s comments go and joined in. If no one recognised him, it didn’t count. 

The bundle stilled. Horror unwrapped it to reveal a snoring bitty. It curled itself into a ball as he took a blanket from a nearby table and tucked it back into the box. Dust slotted his own mini skeleton in beside it. The bitty yawned. It tried to snuggle up to its friend but, was nudged away. The Dust bitty eventually gave up trying to keep the Horror off after it trapped its arms and nuzzled its skull into its chest.

Carol’s mouth gaped. “Do you two want jobs?”

“No thanks, already got a Dust at home,” Horror said. 

“And I’ve got a Horror,” Dust added. He removed the glass shard from the box. They wouldn’t need it.

Papyrus’ body deflated. “That explains it. I wish I was that good with them but, even the great Papyrus seems to have some things he cannot do.” He put a pillow into the box with the pair. 

“You found them and brought them here, that’s enough,” Carol said, patting his back.

Dust nodded. Whatever had happened before, wherever those two had been, they were better off here. They were lucky.

“Hey bitch! Where’re the Sansy things. This dump’s a maze.”

Well, that fucked up the moment. Dust ground his teeth. The same asshole who he had almost dismembered stomped towards them. His trainer knocked the box, leaving an ugly dirt stain.

His eyes widened when he looked inside. “What the hell! Where did you get these?!”

Papyrus moved forward and placed a phalange to his mouth in a shhh gesture. “Please human, these poor bitties are trying to sleep. In the name of civility, lower your voice.”

“Poor bitties!” The human laughed, a rough, barking din that made Dust want to claw his skull open. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to make one of these yourself? This’ll save me so much time! How much?”

Fucking what?! Dust clenched his fist. If this guy wanted to leave with all his limbs intact, he wasn’t very good at showing it. And that suited Dust just fine. 

Papyrus only gave a blank expression. “I don’t think they’re ready to go anywhere yet and I don’t understand human. How would you ‘make’ them?”

Rather than answering, the human shouldered past him and grabbed the box. The bitties stirred. Both moaned in their sleep and pulled closer together.

A flash of purple shot forward. Soft flesh bruised under Dust’s glove. The human cringed when he tightened his grip on his wrist, making the bones creak. How easy would it be to snap this guy’s arm like a rotten stick? Dust took a breath. No, he was meant to be nice right now, polite. 

He smiled, trying to project the image of a perfectly reasonable citizen. “You’re not welcome here. Fuck off.”

“Now, now.” Papyrus waved his hands at the pair. “I’m sure we can all be sensible about this. Please sir, these bitties are not currently for sale. Please, may I ask you to leave?”

Dust carefully slid a knife from his pocket, using his back to hide it from Papyrus. The blade gleamed. It silently slid through the wooden flooring like butter. The human’s face blanched. Horror likewise drew closer. His own sugary grin showed off a set of razor-sharp fangs.

The human released the box, gave the group a snarl and stormed off. Dust hid his weapon. May the door hit that prick in a very unpleasant place on his way out. 

Carol apologised to the group. Apparently, that one was a regular troublemaker. The shelter should’ve barred him then. Or, given him a good reason not to come back...and there were so many ways to do that. A few were even legal.

Groans came from the box. The Horror bitty buried its skull in the pillow, Papyrus’ pets doing nothing to soothe the squirming skeleton.

“It’s the lavender scented air in here,” Dust said. “Horrors have strong senses so, the smell’s disturbing it.” 

Normally, when Horror was awake or fully asleep it wouldn’t be an issue for him. But the human must’ve woken this one up enough for the stench to make getting back to sleep tough. The not so legal options were looking better and better.

Carol ran off to shut the air fresheners down, while Papyrus took the box to the garden for some air that didn’t smell like being assaulted with perfume. People didn’t like it in airports and Dust didn’t like it here. 

He wandered over to a massive fenced off area filled with bitties. Horror got there first, jumped the barrier and sat on the floor inside. Not his best idea. Within seconds he was surrounded by a chirping, clambering cluster of Baby Blues and Papys. Dust held back a snigger. Horror looked like a living climbing frame. All be it a slightly pale one. Anytime a bitty got too close to one of his pockets he twitched and nudged it away. Knowing his friend, he had every right to be nervous about that. Explaining why he had a collapsible industrial strength bear trap was tricky at the best of times. Never mind when a tiny wide-eyed skeleton with the innocence of a five-year-old was asking ‘what’s it for.’

The cold steel of his knife against his hand dragged him back to his reality. He really hadn’t wanted to need it today. He sat next to Horror. Phalanges tugged on his clothes, yanking the fabric from every angle. But he didn’t take any notice. His chest burned from thinking about that asshole. If he was dressed as himself that human would’ve ran a mile before mouthing off at him and Dust would’ve been all too happy to hand him the running shoes.

“I don’t know about this anymore,” Dust said. “I don’t mind helping Blue but, I sort of miss being feared.”

Horror tilted his skull at him. “We’re still feared.”

A Baby Blue pulled on Horror’s sleeve, yelling excitedly. “Up me! Up me!”

Horror lifted the bitty onto his shoulder pad. It hugged him in thanks before noticing its reflection in the helmet and making silly expressions at itself.

Yes, truly the face of pure terror.

“Put the Baby Blue down. It’s proving my point and seeing it stretch it’s skull like that is disturbing.” 

“Are you sure you’re not having a mid-life crisis?” Horror asked.

Dust glared at him. 

“Do I look old enough for one of those?” he asked, then he remembered who he was talking to. “Answer that and I will kill you.”

Horror laughed. But he lowered the bitty back onto the floor anyway. “Relax. I was joking. So, this is a Baby Blue? It’s cute.”

Stars lit up the bitty’s eyes. It puffed its chest out and ran at Dust, arms open. He stopped it with a single phalange before its love attack could get anywhere near him. One personal space invading, sweet as sugar lunatic in his life was plenty. Thank you very much. “Baby Blues are childish, sound like a helium filled puppy and have incredibly soft skulls. Keep it away.”

“Who would even give helium to a puppy?” Horror said. He scooped up the bitty and pointed to a different one dressed in red. “What’s that.”

Dust leaned back against the fence. “Cherry. Shy, gentle, bad reflexes. Easily caught from behind.”

A frown crossed Horror’s skull as he gestured to a bitty in a battle body. 

“Papy. Trusting, loyal, weak necks and spines.”

“Did you study how to dust bitties just in case they were a threat?!” Horror said. The Baby Blue clambered out of his grasp and took off.

“These things are no threat.” Dust waved a hand at him. “Sansy bitties lack stamina in long fights and Soft Bones have no defence against sneak attacks whatsoever.”

There was suddenly a distinct lack of mini skeletons surrounding the pair. Horror scowled at him. Hey, it wasn’t Dust’s fault these things were soft. They should just get over it. 

Something coughed by his left femur.

A group of Edgy and Boss bitties stood to attention. Several carried writing supplies. The lead Boss stepped forward and raised a tiny pencil over a notepad. “Keep going please.”

“Piss off!” Horror snapped. 

He dragged Dust off towards the garden as the group of unhappy students booed and threw rubbers. 

Dust didn’t mind. Horror was only trying to reduce collateral damage. It was noble, it was thoughtful, it wouldn’t stop him from coming back later. He waved to the little crowd of fans and walked through the back door to the outside. 

Like any garden made to be shown to a primarily child targeted market, this one was vast. Covered in bushes, trees and a range of other bright plants the little suckers could tangle themselves in with their new bitty pals while their parents watched from a safe, non-muddy deck chair. Funnily enough, the fence of metal spikes around the area didn’t have that same air of family friendliness the runny chalk drawings and soaked rainbow streamers being battered in the wind did. But, anything to keep the precious darlings safe and avoid a lawsuit was probably worth throwing the feng shui out the window.

Other than the two of them, the garden was deserted. Dust wrapped his replacement scarf tighter around himself. Damp soil squished underfoot as raindrops splattered against his skull. “Let’s get out of this. Papyrus must’ve gone inside once the rain started.” 

“We would’ve seen him come back in.” Horror pushed forward against the howling wind, striding towards the line of bushes.

Easy for him to say, at least he had a visor. A raindrop struck Dust in the eye, he cringed and covered his face with his hand. No one was mad enough to be out in this. Let alone someone with a pair of bitties. Papyrus was childish but, he wasn’t stupid. 

Dust caught up to Horror knelt by a bush. 

They should go back inside. There were a million acts of charity they could still do that didn’t involve dying of pneumonia. This place had to have a kitchen. They could make hot chocolate, he could help. Well, until Horror kicked him out for burning it. Papyrus and the bitties would love that. Had those two ever even tried hot chocolate? He wanted to see their faces when they tried Horror’s. He wanted to see if they’d guzzle it like Cross did his first time or maybe they’d light up like Blue did or -

Papyrus lay in a crumpled heap under the bush. Marrow leaked from a massive dent which scarred the left side of his skull and sent cracks cascading down his spine. Trainer prints stained his battle body. A thick slimy glob of spit lay on his scarf. His phalanges twitched as Horror shook him. 

Dust couldn’t move. He had been five seconds away from grabbing Horror, turning around and going back inside. Would anyone have found Papyrus out here in the rain if he had? Someone would’ve. It was a bitty shelter. People came and went all the time. But, what would’ve they found? Papyrus or-

His stomach rolled. Bile fought its way up his throat.

Horror was more composed. Despite the way his hands shook, he pulled Papyrus into a sitting position and waited for him to finish crunching the healing candy Horror always carried. Dust let out a breath as the dent in the other’s skull popped back to its normal position. Papyrus smiled. He moved his head, testing the mended joint.

Wait. Dust fell to his knees, ignoring the branches scratching his arms as he clawed at the bush. Nothing. There was nothing else here. His eyes darted around the area. No tiny foot prints. No pillow. No blanket. No anything. “Papyrus, where the fuck are the bitties?!”

The other dropped the remaining candy. “The human!! Mars! Jupiter! The human it jumped me, it was here, it must’ve seen us through the fence, I don’t know how it got in, I don’t know what it was doing here, I don’t know what it wanted, I don’t know-“

Dust grabbed him by the shoulders before he could go off on a panicked hour-long ramble. They didn’t need that now. His phalanges dug into Papyrus’ chin, forcing him to stop. “Cut the crap. Where are they?"

“Gone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest just needs a little work but, it’ll be done by Monday. I’ll upload it as the next chapter then.


	4. Bitty Care Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Horror and Dust give chase.

They couldn’t be gone. They had only just got here. They had only just got off the streets. Dust’s breath burned in his throat. His vision started to blur.

They were like them, weren’t they? A bitty didn’t get born as a Horror or a Dust any more than he or Horror had started that way. They had to become like that. Something made them like that. A twisted laugh pushed past his teeth. Dust covered his mouth to muffle it, as if that would stop anything. Papyrus moved back. Horror moved forward.

It was like a sick joke. It wasn’t enough to find a safe place or people that cared about you. Someone would always be trying to ruin that. Humans ruined that. Ruined everything. What did they care about them? Monster trash. All the same. All the same as that first selfish genocidal brat. His left eye light burst into flame, purple magic crackled against the contact lens.

He gripped his mouth tighter, cracking inwards. Bitter metallic marrow dripped onto his tongue. What the hell was he doing playing hero? He wasn’t anymore use now than he had been back then. He still couldn’t protect anyone!

A sharp stinging sensation crossed his cheekbone as Horror slapped him. He pulled Dust in close and snarled at him. “We don’t have the luxury of you breaking down right now. So, either sit here in the dirt crying or get to your feet, help me think of a plan and let’s go murder this bastard.”

Dust took a breath. Sometimes he forgot why Horror was his brother, he didn’t always make it easy. But, yes. He was right. This was no time to be moping like a child. When his vision cleared it landed on the cloth wrapped around Papyrus’ throat. Dust’s crazed smirk widened. His hand rose. A newly summoned blaster growled over his right shoulder. 

Grass squelched under Papyrus’ body. He pulled himself to his feet, rain dripping down his mud-soaked bones. “Mars, Jupiter, I don’t think- “

He scrambled back as Dust thrust his hand out towards him. 

“Scarf,” Dust said.

“Huh?”

“Scarf. Hand it over. Now.” 

What was Papyrus waiting for? The longer they hesitated the higher the chance they’d lose those bitties and if the other didn’t move soon, he would snatch that thing off his throat himself. Luckily, Papyrus got the hint. The beautiful cloth was soft under Dust's phalanges, only marred by cold raindrops and a stain of yellowish phlegm running down the seams. Dust would’ve grimaced if he wasn’t smiling his skull off. 

He held the scarf out to the blaster. “Track.”

The skull hovered around it, taking sweeping sniffs of the foul spit. It gave a bark, spun in the air and soared towards the back of the garden, stopping occasionally to check its master was following. Papyrus stepped forward. Horror held his hand up to stop him. “Stay here. This could get messy.”

“That’s why I need to come. I can’t let you go alone! I could never forgive myself if you got hurt because I failed in my role as a proper guard!” 

Dust flinched. Papyrus didn’t fail. He didn’t need to fix this. If the other came along he was more likely to get hurt than help. Maybe worse. That wasn’t happening again. Dust turned to him, eye socket ablaze. “We’ll be fine. Promise you won’t follow us.”

To his credit, Papyrus only tried to object once before the flame flaring to twice its size stopped him. Although, he still pouted like a toddler who had been told the car was full. “Fine. The great Papyrus promises on his honour as a royal guard in training that he will not attempt to pursue the human with you.”

Good enough. Dust darted after his tracker with Horror on his heels. It had halted to yap at a hole in the fence. One of the spears that made up the railing was missing, the horizontal bars holding the others in place still stood. However, gaps marked them around the absent spike. Dust ran his phalanges over the holes, black metal saw dust crumbling against his glove. That explained how the human had got in. How long had he been planning something like this? 

Not important. Move now, questions later.

He gestured to his blaster to get going.

The bitty shelter fell behind to be replaced with dim streets and dingy buildings. Even without the storm clouds to block out the sunlight this area would’ve been grey. With them, it was grey, wind torn and most importantly deserted. Like he said, only the insane were out in this weather. Rain lashed at his face. His blaster fumbled back as it was struck by an unfortunate and quickly disintegrated umbrella. 

The skull floated to the ground and whimpered. Dust checked it for injuries, it nudged its jagged snout into his chest and whined louder. Was it tired? Hurt? His pets had lasted longer in training sessions before, those could take hours on a good day. They weren’t meant to just lie down and quit. But they also didn’t normally fly at full speed in the rain while their master burned his magic, chest and limbs pushing himself to keep up. Idiot! 

Then the screaming started. 

From the alley they stood beside came panicked, barking, wonderfully familiar sounding screaming. Dust scratched the skull under its chin, eyes sparkling as it lolled its tongue out in pleasure. “Good weapon of mass destruction. Good boy.” 

It sagged against his shoulder, no point pushing it harder than this. Can’t have everything. The blaster disappeared with a pop. Dust entered first, taking in the puddles sploshing against his boots and the screech of his knife as he scraped it against the metal trash cans. If that human thought whatever was making him scream was bad Dust wanted him to know that something worse was coming. Sure, he wasn’t meant to enjoy this. But Nightmare could forgive him a little bloodlust this once. No one screwed with him, his family or his friends and this ass had checked all the boxes.

Shadows gave way to an image of the human pounding his fist against the wall. Blood dripped from the limb in several places. Pants mixed with his shrieks as he yelled at the battered Dust bitty clinging to his hand by its teeth. “Let go! You defective pet store reject!”

The tiny skeleton bit down harder. Its arm crunched and wilted as it struck the bricks again. Tears poked at its sockets, but it held on. 

For a second.

The bitty’s jaw released when the human turned his fist and swung its skull directly into a nearby metal pipe poking out the wall. A crack rang out. The Dust landed in a puddle, bobbing face down. More blood stained the human’s shirt as he wiped off his hand and gave a sour scowl. “Waste of time.”

He stiffened when blue light enveloped the bitty. Dust sheathed his knife, took the tiny thing from the air and rubbed its back, praying it wouldn’t crumble before he could do anything. It had been so brave. Even when it was barely standing from starvation and exhaustion it had taken on an opponent over fifty times its own size. So stupid. Reckless and the only reason they had found it this soon rather than the human escaping. 

Come on! 

Water flew under his hand as he smacked its spine. Dirty fluid poured from the bitty’s mouth. It trembled, coughing more liquid out. Thank stars, thank Nightmare, hell even thank Ink. He slowed the strokes and tucked it into a pocket. They could get some healing food for it later, something that wouldn’t be tough to swallow. Now, back to business.

The human backed away from Horror’s blade. He could make a break for it if he wanted. The alley behind him was clear except for a sharp left turn and Dust was willing to place money on which of them would get there first if he tried. Whatever excuse for a brain was rattling in the other’s head must’ve reached the same conclusion. He took a few steps back but didn’t run. Smart. Dust moved up next to Horror, summoning a bone blade and letting its magic spark along his arm. 

A smirk broke across the human’s face. He reached into his pocket and dragged out the limp Horror bitty by the leg. It’s eye light flickered weakly, staring into space. Blood stained its teeth. The hole in its skull sported fresh cracks and had broken to the point where if it got any larger it would swallow the left eye socket. Dust tensed against his body’s instinct to dive forward. Had it fought back first? He dug his feet deeper into the pavement. With those wounds the tiny thing was close to dusting and a struggle would only risk death.

The human hurled the bitty to the ground and thrust his trainer over it. 

“I can’t run, but I’m willing to bet you heroes don’t want this freak crushed,” he said. “How about this, drop the weapons, get on your knees and I’ll leave with this little guy to ensure you don’t try anything.”

Dust dug his phalanges into the bone blade. This was insane. This guy was trying to bargain with two of the deadliest monsters to walk the multiverse. What the hell gave him the right?! What made him think he could pull anything like this! His weapon grew, magic sizzled like electricity in his grasp.

The human pushed his shoe down until the little Horror’s bones creaked. 

Dust grit his teeth. Maybe if he teleported or-

Blue magic flickered across the bitty’s bones. He tried not to let any surprise cross his expression. He hadn’t done that. Horrors struggled to do that, and the human hadn’t noticed. A glance around the area offered no answers but, too much of it was hidden. Oh, fuck it. Anywhere away from that human was safer than where it was now. 

His weapon clanked against the ground, he knelt and nodded to Horror to do the same. The other skeleton narrowed his eye sockets but, he followed. Watching the human puff up at their actions made his bones crawl. However, he held his tongue as the bitty shifted slightly, dragged by the energy around its body. It blinked out when the bitty knocked against the heel behind it. The human’s eyes lowered.

A wet splat followed as Dust hacked and spat into the human’s face. 

He chortled at the red-faced indignation he had redirected towards himself. Those contests with Cross had definitely not been in vain. “That was for Papyrus.”

The human lunged towards him. Pain cracked through Dust’s jaw as the other’s fist smacked into it. Dust sniggered and ran his tongue over his teeth, all accounted for. 

“Weak,” he said. “No wonder you need to resort to stupid cowardly tactics like this. I’ve met froggits with stronger right hooks.”

Another strike of agony shot through his abdomen, knocking the air out of him as the human’s hard footwear stabbed into his spine. Horror tensed next to him but, he didn’t move. Good, the bitty was still too close and the human could crush it if he stepped back. Dust let out a breath as the blue glow reignited and pulled it again. Just a little more. Hold on.

He unclenched his stomach. It churned against the movement, but he laughed and bore it. “Your outfit’s causing me more pain than that. What’re you going for? Mangled slob? No wonder you lost to a pair of bitties.”

The human’s nostrils flared. “Are you insane?!”

The Horror bitty flew out of sight around the corner. Dust’s fist blurred. Warm blood splattered his hand as he broke the human’s nose with a satisfying crack. “Yes, thank you for asking.”

He rose. 

The human’s eyes widened as he clung to his face. They darted frantically. There was no hostage for him to threaten anymore. He scooped up a metal rod and dashed forward with the spear held over his head.

Oh, that’s where the missing railing spike went.

The world blurred as someone shoved Dust out of the way. He hit the brick wall as the weapon struck Horror through his helmet. The other skeleton fell, the rod poking through the back of his skull and impaling him to the ground through his mouth. He lay still.

“There,” the human said, moving away from the pair. “Run or you’ll get worse!”

Dust picked himself up, brushed the dirt from his battle body and tapped his phalanges against the cold metal stick. Vibrations ran down it, clanking against Horror’s teeth as he yanked it out of his skull. The other had always been great at blocking attacks, but he hadn’t been able to stop that one. It was kind of him to take that strike for him.

But he didn’t need to be dramatic about it. Dust kicked him in the ribs.

The human choked as Horror shifted to a sitting position. The skeleton grimaced at the rod before he stuck his hand into his mouth, through the wound in his skull and explored the damage to his headwear. 

“Dammit,” he gargled around the limb. “Blue’s going to kill me!”

Nah, he would be glad his handy work was helpful. He would be happy it got that puncture protecting someone.

The human scrambled away. Trash cans fell to either side as he tried to cram himself into the solid wall against his back. His body trembled, sweat running off his brow in thin sour smelling streams. Did this guy think he could break the laws of physics and escape if he pushed hard enough?

Dust leaned forward; his hand twitched uncomfortably. Why had Horror reminded him of Blue? The cheery skeleton wouldn’t be proud if they killed this fleshy scumbag in cold blood. But, Papyrus already tried to appeal to the kindness in this trash and was proven wrong. Wasn’t that enough? Hadn’t he done enough to justify being ended? This was what he had wanted all day, this ass shivering in front of him. Being feared, respected before making this nuisance gone. Seeing this human on the verge of fainting in terror, knowing what was to come should make him giddy. Why was it bringing a bad taste to his mouth now? 

Because he was meant to be better than people like this? Because killing him in cold blood would be against everything good Blue saw in him? 

Heroism and consciences sucked. 

Dust stepped back. “We can’t kill him.”

The human stood taller. A smug sneer crossed his face. He carefully edged himself away from Dust. Yet, Horror blocked his path before he could make a run for it.

“Hey! Didn’t your freak friend just say you were letting me go?”

Dust slid up behind him. “I didn’t say that.”

\-----

Papyrus looked up as Dust and Horror walked around the corner in the alley. “What were all those weird noises?” he asked.

“The beginning of repentance and a very long therapy bill,” Dust said.

He sat, leaning his shoulder against the other’s arm. “You weren’t supposed to follow us.”

Papyrus gave the pair a wide unapologetic smile. “I didn’t. I promised I would not pursue the human with you. So, I pursued the human several feet behind you and used a different entrance to this rather unpleasant location. You don’t look good.”

Smartass. Thank hell for the single-mindedness and stealth skills of a Papyrus. His brother had been the same. He didn’t always get caught dozing at his post because he wasn’t paying attention. Dust shifted his attention to the bitty in the other’s gloves.

Its eyes were blank, body unmoving. Band aids covered new and old wounds but no part of it showed signs of crumbling. It should’ve woken up by now, even with those injuries, if its body was whole it should’ve been able to regain consciousness. He nudged it. Nothing. 

Papyrus held the bitty close. He rubbed its skull the way Dust had in the shelter, humming a broken version of the lullaby. Dust placed his phalange over Papyrus’. He gently guided the other’s movements into small circles around the bitty’s wounds, paying attention to avoid any delicate bones. Horror hummed the song with him. The soft melody echoed in the narrow area. Rustling signalled the awakening of the small skeleton in Dust’s pocket. It clambered out with his assistance and curled up with its friend. 

Why wasn’t this working? The Horror bitty’s body relaxed as the song and pets soothed it, but its eyes remained blank, empty. 

“Once upon a time there was a happy fluffy bunny,” Papyrus said.

Huh? 

“He lived with all his friends, in his merry meadow and he loved to play-“

The Horror bitty shifted, its skull trembling under Dust’s hand. “Pe..Peek-a-boo?”

Papyrus lifted the bitty pair closer to his forehead. “That’s right small, not so scary brother. Do you like this story too? Did you used to read it with your family at your old shelter?”

The bitty’s eye light blinked into existence. It stared up at him. A drop of marrow leaked from under one of its bandages. However, as soon as Papyrus moved to wipe it away it bit down on his phalange with a growl. The Dust bitty gasped and tried to drag it off. Dust picked up his tiny counterpart and gestured for it to stop. A rip tore through the glove when the Horror’s teeth dug in deeper.

“That’s okay,” Papyrus said. He winced against the pain drilling into his bones and massaged the other’s back. “You’re safe, no need _tibia-fraid._ ” 

The Horror bitty’s eye sockets widened. Its teeth loosened. 

Papyrus finished wiping away the marrow and patted down the band aid. “There you go, all _rib-paired_.

The bitty’s body shook, fighting and failing to hold back the splutters escaping its mouth.

“There you go!” Papyrus said. He patted its back, removing his phalange from its jaw. “I don’t know what you were like before you were well…’made.’ But, you’re so much like Sans. Puns are his favourite too. Although I do not quite understand the appeal myself, it is good to see you smiling.”

Red flushed across the Horror’s skull. It edged forward, allowing Papyrus to change a few more bandages.

Dust did the same for the skeleton in his own hand. Papyrus was amazing. So many people never tried to think about what they once were. Despite the fact that they shared the appearance of all Sanses, people never looked past the blood, the murder and saw _them_. Even he forgot sometimes. His bitty reached out to its friend. It slid easily back onto Papyrus’ palm and clung to the little Horror.

“Look after them,” Dust said. 

Papyrus nodded. “They need names.”

“Nutter for the Dust,” Horror suggested. 

“Chomps for the Horror,” Dust shot back. His eyes sparkled.

“Rascal!”

“Stick-in-the-mud!”

“Kitchen arsonist!”

“You asshole!”

“Yes!” Papyrus said. “Rascal and Chomps! Those are perfect names.” His face lit up as he spoke to the bitties. “What do you think?”

Crap. Sarcasm was lost on the insanely innocent. Both bitties glared at him and Horror. They were definitely going to pay for this later. But, for right now…

Dust gave a thumbs up. “Yep, great names.”

“Jupiter, Mars, thank you. You’ll be amazing uncles.” Papyrus said.

Uncles? That was unwise. But why not? 

Dust petted the skulls of his little counterpart and Chomps. The pair pushed him off playfully. He wished them the best. 

Whatever came before, whatever had happened. Things would get better.

And good luck Comic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was worth the wait. Please let me know what you think and if anyone has any suggestions for future events I am still happy to listen in the comments.


	5. The Show Must Go On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How hard could it be to star in a play about themselves? Except, who invited Ink and Dream?!

He had only come along after being promised no one needed to wear a battle body for this mission.

That had been true, sort of.

Grey powder rained down from a bag Blue shook overhead. Nightmare squirmed in the make-up chair. Paints, perfumes and various other forms of cosmetic torture coated his gloop in a thin layer, changing the normal pitch black to a dull charcoal. His body dried out where it mixed into his protective tar. Thickened sludge weighed his body down as if he were trying to wear a second skin. 

How did actors wear this for hours on end? How did anyone?

A tentacle reached out for a tissue on the dresser. Only to be seized by Blue. He pushed it back where it came from and strapped a set of plastic replacements over it.

“It has to look fake. Sorry,” he said.

Nightmare tapped his phalanges against an armrest. The things he did for his boys. They had been so excited to see a play about themselves. But when the cast cancelled Blue had been the first to insist they keep the show going. After all, who could act them better than them? 

He wandered to a black couch by the row of mirrors. Killer sat upright, clenching a script. Nightmare gently pried it out of his grasp, skimming it.

The story was pretty much what he expected. A heroic tale about how Ink had saved a poor defenceless Endogeny amalgamate from the terrible Dark Sanses. Nightmare chuckled. No one who had ever met the dog like amalgamate would ever describe it as defenceless. Unkillable, overexcited tanks that didn’t know their own strength would’ve been more accurate. As for how it described the gang-

“It’s an insult,” Killer said.

Clearly. The script portrayed the other skeleton as a soulless murderer whose only lines were ‘Blood, blood!’ and ‘Must kill! Must kill!’ 

Though to be fair, the expression on Killer’s face as he ran his knife along the couch cushions wouldn’t have changed anyone’s mind about that.

Horror stomped in the middle of the dressing room. His hand twitched every time his gaze touched the document in his grasp.

“At least you have lines! I’m only meant to growl,” he said, jabbing at his own script. “Do they think I’m some kind of dog?!”

“You did bite us a few times when you were younger,” Dust replied. He stuck his head out of the mouth of his amalgamate costume and flashed a smirk.

“I don’t act like that anymore!”

“Tell that to the dismembered vacuum cleaner.”

Dust disappeared back into his outfit as Horror tackled him, pummelling the giggling foam tent with his fists. 

Nightmare shook his skull. He hoped they wouldn’t act like this on stage. Since that massive costume needed three skeletons to work it, they’d cut Horror’s part and stuck him in there with Dust and Blue.

It wasn’t quite the way he wanted to bring the house down.

“I’m not going out there.” Cross tugged at the glass vials around his chest, tangling them in a long brown scarf which had become more of a hazard than an accessory. “I say this play needs to be scrapped! We shouldn’t be spreading these lies and I refuse to be a part of it.”

“We can’t be honest about what happened. It’s mad.” Killer ceased tormenting the furniture and turned to their leader. “Tell him he’s mad.”

A slam echoed as Nightmare closed his script. Dust and Horror stopped fighting.

“Normally, yes,” he said. “But this is a play and we’re not ourselves right now. A little freedom can be allowed.”

A smile crossed his skull.

“We’re hi jacking this performance.”

\-----

Dream looked between his ticket and the rows of folding chairs. Monsters and humans shuffled through the small hall doing the same, chattering about the production. He waved to Ink as he located their seats at the back. The other staggered towards him, arms overflowing with what looked like one of everything the treat stand outside had to offer. 

What in the multiverse was he thinking? 

“That’s extremely bad for you,” Dream said.

Ink’s skull popped out from behind the mountain of sugar. “I’m a magical skeleton.”

“With cavities.” Dream took a handful of the organic looking snacks and seated himself. 

Ink thumped down beside him. “I can fix that with my paints.”

No, never again. The last time the artist tried, he gave himself vampire fangs. Dream tilted his skull, daring the other to deny it. 

Ink leaned back, snorting at his expression. “It was Halloween.”

“It was June, and you were bored.”

Ink gave his best ‘yes but wasn’t it fun’ grin. The kind he always gave before he did something insane or was trying to get away with something else, which was often. Dream rolled his eye lights at him. Same old crazy God of creation. If Dream let him, he would’ve catapulted himself over the base long ago. His body relaxed. But yes, it had been fun.

A look of pure sugar induced bliss crossed Ink’s skull as he bit into a caramel coated, triple marshmallow chocolate bar. “Sweet sugar!”

Sweet dentist appointment. Some skeletons never learnt. 

But this was exciting. 

The Lights dimmed. Everyone fell silent when the red curtain at the front of the room swished open. The backdrop showed a drawing of Snowdin town. A hooded white tent with black painted dogs on the sides bounded onto the stage. It ran in circles, sent cut out store fronts flying and growled at a tree.

A gruff voice inside the outfit swore. A second scolded it.

Another skeleton dressed as Ink ran out from behind the opposite curtain. He spun in place, pointed at his opponent and struck a pose. “Stop amalgamate! As the creator I order you to halt your rampage and return home!”

What? Ink didn’t talk like that, and what was that dance?

“Silly right?” Dream asked him.

Ink didn’t respond. The colour drained from his skull as he watched his counterpart yell and wiggle at the amalgamate. 

It lowered its head. Ink’s actor didn’t notice. “If you do not I will-“

The fake Endogamy swallowed the top half of his body. It jumped around the stage shaking him like a toy. Panicked squeaks came from inside the costume. The actor flailed his legs like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

Dream bend over, failing to hold back the chuckles building behind his teeth. Ridiculous. Ink wasn’t daft enough to actually give a speech to an enemy mid battle or not notice when it got upset. Ink still didn’t say anything. His right eye light twitched.

A pair dressed as members of the gang strolled on stage from behind the left curtain. Amazing, those had to be the Planet Sanses. Blue’s friends. The outfits had a few mistakes. Killer’s hoodie flopped off him, Nightmare’s gloop was the wrong colour, little things like that. But still, they looked great.

“What’d you think boss?” Killer asked. “Did it mistake Ink for food or was he monologing again?”

Nightmare shrugged. “Doesn’t matter, lets get him out quick before the poor pooch chokes.”

Ink shot up. “Lies! They laughed for twenty minutes straight before they did anything!”

“Calm down.” Dream placed a hand on the other’s arm. “It’s just a play. It’s not real.”

A rainbow flush glowed on Ink’s skull. His eye light flicked between question and explanation marks before he sat. His scarf rustled as he buried his face in it. 

Too sensitive. He needed to learn to laugh at a bit of parody. 

On stage, Killer grabbed the pretend Ink’s legs. The Endogamy costume lowered, shaking its head and yapping excitedly. The whole scene played out like a game of tug of war with Ink as the rope. Muffled screams came from the colourful actor inside the amalgamate’s mouth. Something about not wanting to play this pansy anymore.

The real Ink tucked his legs into his chest and yanked his scarf over his skull, trying to make himself as unnoticeable as possible. Dream felt his forehead. “Are you okay?”

He hoped so. The show wasn’t over, and it was proving to be fun so far. Ink might be upset if he missed it after coming all this way.

Nightmare threw a stick for the amalgamation. It spat its plaything out and chased after the twig. Ink’s actor staggered to his feet and fled for his life off stage, skull a queasy green. The pooch didn’t bother to give chase. It charged back towards Nightmare and tackle hugged him to the ground, foam body pinning him. Killer pulled a knife on it.

Nightmare held a hand up. “Don’t, we just got the last one out of its mouth.”

He petted the strange dog creature with long slow strokes. It rolled off and clomped around the set again. 

“There you go, it couldn't have been fun having that lunatic in your mouth. How did he taste?”

Despite lacking eyes and a nose, the costume still managed to pull a face. 

“Thought so, go home. You’ve had your adventure, and thanks for the help,” Nightmare said.

With a yip and a final nudge to the chest, the Endogamy outfit scurried away.

The chair beside Dream clattered as Ink uncurled himself. He crossed his arms.

“Awful, a bunch of nonsense with weak acting,” he said. 

Dream giggled at him. “You didn’t like it? I thought it was pretty interesting.”

The other huffed, got up and disappeared into a portal. 

So, so sensitive.

The curtains closed.

\-----

Dream peered into the distance. He wanted to find Blue and thank him for the tickets. Too bad the dressing area was a guessing game. Rows of identical wooden doors spanned the corridor from end to end and Dream wasn’t versed in whatever mad logic the actors used to tell one from another. He reached out to knock on the first, if this was the right room great, if not he could ask whoever was inside for directions. Better than being found peeking through keyholes. There was never an easy way to explain that.

His glove tapped air as the door swung inwards mid knock. He stumbled back, magic surging to take shape when a dark mass of sludge and tentacles slid through the entrance. Thankfully, Dream’s mind caught up with his body before it did anything stupid. He cut off the flow and scolded himself for forgetting his location.

Nightmare’s actor stood in front of him, not the real thing. At least he hadn’t drawn his weapon on the poor soul. 

The other’s one eye blinked slowly. “Why are you here?”

“Sorry for almost attacking you,” Dream spluttered. Heat pooled in his cheekbones. Why had he said that? Now the other knew he mistook him for the real thing and nearly sent an arrow through his shoulder. What was he meant to think? “Your costume is just amazingly realistic, and you portrayed my brother really well in the performance.”

Not Nightmare laughed. A bright, cheerful chortle which tore at Dream’s chest and wrenched his mind back to his childhood. He should tell the actor his research was off. The real thing didn’t sound like that anymore. 

If the other noticed his deepening golden blush he didn’t comment while he steadied himself against the wall. 

“I portray an insane, murderous, killer of worlds well?” he asked. “Thanks.”

Stars, that came out wrong. He wasn’t trying to offend him. “No. I mean how he used to be.”

Dream clutched his cape. Through his gloves the thick material brought him comfort. Nightmare had helped him make it and it was a beloved reminder of the kindness he saw on stage.

His brother always had a way with animals. Sheep, pigs, cows. Although, he never wanted credit for it. Dream came back to the tree once to find him reading a book in stern silence with three ducklings perched on his legs. They accidentally hatched and imprinted on his twin when Nightmare saved their eggs from a snake. It soon became their mission to never leave him alone. Huddling around him at night, following him in a fluffy line during the day. Dream clutched at the sun pattern.

That was over. Wasn’t it?

His throat tightened.

Who, what his brother was now wouldn’t hesitate to suffocate one of those sweet ducklings in his tentacles just to drink the sorrow of its siblings. Then, he would crush the others for no better reason than to hear their screams. 

The fabric strained under his frantic wringing. 

What was the point in thinking about this? His brother was gone.

Seams came undone as he scratched at them.

He had been for a long time and he wasn’t coming back.

Arms wrapped themselves around him, pulling him into an embrace against the other’s chest. Gentle phalanges patted his back.

“It’s fine. I know what you meant,” the dark skeleton said. “Here.”

Dream shifted his skull to see a white tissue being offered to him. Why would he need that? His hand came away wet when he touched his cheek. No, no, no, he couldn’t cry in front of a stranger. He was meant to be positive. Stop it. His sockets burned worse as he rubbed them raw. “I’m really sorry...umm?” 

The other gave him a quiet smile. “Neptune.” 

Right, one of the Planet Sanses. “Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologise so much. Everything’s fine.” Neptune held him closer, discarding the tissue and using his phalanges to dry the area around Dream’s eyes. They were cold. The fake slime coating the other’s body chilled his bones, but it was comforting in its own way, like a cool bath after a long run. Dream lowered his gaze and opened his mouth. 

“Please don’t say you’re sorry again. You have nothing to be sorry for,” Neptune said.

Yes, it probably was ridiculous to be sorry for a few tears. Dream’s forehead sank into Neptune’s shoulder. The costume felt firmer than the real thing, smooth with a spongy texture. He closed his eyes. Ink wouldn’t mind if he came back a little late and Blue wasn’t going anywhere. 

He could stay like this, for just a minute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think and if anyone has any suggestions, I’m happy to listen in the comments.


	6. Spider's Nest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Error finally gets dragged on a mission. But what can Stretch do to help him actually enjoy himself?
> 
> Dedicated to titanicdragon who wanted to see how Stretch and Error are doing with moving on from the past. As well as everyone who wanted to see Error's first outing, you know who you are.

The destroyer of worlds was stuck to their living room ceiling and Stretch didn’t think they had a broom long enough to get him down. He fetched a chair and a spray bottle instead. 

His brother seized the tools. “Come on Error, you can’t stay in hammock town forever!”

The bundle of strings above them hissed as cold water struck it. Stretch collapsed onto the couch to watch. Error came here to hide from Blue and his glittery hero costume. 

In their home. 

Say what you wanted about the glitch, if this didn’t prove he was crazy, nothing would.

“PiSs Off BlUe! I’m nOt inTereSted In- ArrrGghhH!” Error’s words cut off when another squirt caught him full in the face.

“Language mister! How do you expect to learn how to properly meet people if you don’t socialise with them?” Blue asked.

Only his brother could call a homicidal ball of repressed anger issues ‘mister’ or talk to them like a child on their first day of school. He stood. Better step in before Blue tried to appeal to the other’s ‘better nature.’ He wasn’t questioning the existence of such a thing. But anyone bringing it up would be looking through the remains of the house to find it.

“Sans, why don’t you let me handle Error’s rehabilitation today,” he said. “You can go help the other gang members.” 

Blue gave him a look. “Are you sure Papy?”

“Yeah, be a nice way to- “ 

Blue slammed him into a hug, thrust the silky outfit into his hands and opened a portal. “Bye! Good luck and behave.”

That definitely wasn’t directed at him. 

Once his brother was gone, Stretch checked on their guest. Error peeked over the edge of his hammock and glared.

“Coming down?” Stretch asked.

“DRop thE spraY bOttLe or I Will eLiminaTe yoU and ThiS EntIre RidiCuloUs toWn.”

Fair enough. Stretch placed the weapon on a side table. Once he was no longer in danger of watery assault, the other slid down from his perch with string rope. A white buzzing portal opened under him. 

Which would’ve been fine if Stretch didn’t still have the chair. 

Error grunted as his body fell directly into the hard wood seat and was yanked away from his escape route. Sure, Stretch could’ve let him go but he couldn’t be bothered to chase the other through the multiverse or pretend his brother wouldn’t make him.

“You may not believe me. But I’m doing this for your own good,” Stretch said. “If you don’t go on my mission Blue will eventually drag you into one of his.” 

The other’s hands stopped their attempt to open another way out.

“I’ll give you a hint, how do you feel about babies?”

Stretch had never seen anyone get dressed so fast. Embarrassing costume or not, fear of dirty diapers and working out how to soothe a crying tiny human without touching them did wonders for a person’s perspective. 

Error leaned against the doorway in the outfit. Gloves, boots, scarf, mask. Every part of his body concealed in rosy silk and glitter, no one would be able to tell it was him. Though, if Stretch had any suicidal impulses, he might be tempted to point out that the other did look a bit like a walking Valentine’s Day card. Good thing this was Stretch’s home so Blue had let him off with wearing his normal clothes. 

He flung open the door and strode out into the snow before either of them could change their mind about this. Error slunk behind him, body closed in on itself, hands twitching. Anyone else might’ve blamed the cold wind or the frozen slush beneath their feet. But the flickering glances towards the light in the distance made it clear this was another conflict between staying and making a run for it once they started towards town and...people. 

Stretch sighed. Blue was pushy, but his heart was in the right place. The hermit could do with a day that wasn’t spent closed off from the world or in the middle of a life or death battle. How was anyone meant to be stable like that?

“Where are we going?”

Stretch jumped before he realised the voice had come from Error. He knew the costume included a device to control the other’s glitches, but he hadn’t expected this. The tone was deep but smooth and without his static he could’ve passed for any other Sans, all be it a particularly annoyed one. The gang would’ve freaked out.

He chuckled at the idea. “Well - “

“Hey Paps. What’s up?”

A grey wolf monster staggered towards him from behind the tree line, fighting to keep upright despite his traitorous limbs trying for the opposite. Stretch stepped back as they sagged against him and belched into his face. Good thing he wasn’t smoking, those alcoholic fumes would’ve ended them both. Ignoring his attempts to remove the furry, giggling body from his shoulder, the wolf raised an eyebrow at Error and let out a whistle. “Who’s the hot snack?”

That outfit might’ve been a mistake. Stretch could practically hear the glitch’s teeth grind together as the uninvited guest edged up to him. 

“Aww cute, they’re trembling. You shy baby cakes?” the wolf asked.

Only if shyness came with a death stare. Stretch moved to intercept him before he could do something crazy.

\-----

“What did we say about murder?” Stretch crossed his arms at a dust coated Error.

“He slapped my ass!” 

An extremely poor life decision all things considered. Stretch didn’t even know a spine could bend like that. 

The other beat at the costume and stomped back towards the house. Probably to hole up in his hammock again and wait for the ceiling to swallow him.

Stretch blocked his way. “Leaving so soon? We haven’t done anything good yet.”

Error bared his teeth. “Leave me alone, unless you want to be next.”

“Here.” Stretch tugged off his hoodie and held it out. “It’ll cover the evidence and the goddess of love outfit. Unless, you want to spend the next few hours sulking alone. I can go enjoy the surprise I was going to share with you by myself.”

The other’s eyes drifted between him and the offering several times before he snatched the garment and tugged it over his skull. It drowned him. The hem dragged in the snow, sleeves dangling from his arms in a flappy mess. But, in a multiverse where skeletons could have tails, tentacles or wings who was going to question a walking orange hoodie?

Error pulled the hood up, hiding the pink mask as best he could within it. “What’s the surprise?”

“Well, we’re going to do good by supporting a local business.”

Error gave him a blank stare.

“We’re going to Muffets.”

\-----

The cafe door opened to a purple dining area. It was oddly quiet for this time of day with none of the regular guard customers occupying their usual tables. Then again, Error might do better with less living things around. The army of tiny black spiders scurrying across the ceiling and walls didn’t count. He hoped they didn’t.

If a sight which would’ve given Horror a heart attack disturbed him, the other didn’t show it. His attention was locked on the entrance to the kitchen, sucking in deep gulps of the sweet freshly baked cookie scent which poured out of it.

“You’re drooling,” Stretch told the skeleton behind the doorway.

Error scrubbed at his mouth with the back of his sleeve and snarled.

He tried not to take that personally. “Want to go in?”

The other followed as Stretch led the way and dropped himself into his stool at the counter. 

“Two dark surprises,” he told a group of the little waiters. They scrambled off into the back, returning with two small desserts perched on their many shoulders. 

Error poked at his plate with a spoon and narrowed his eyes at it. 

“Have you never seen chocolate lava cake before?” Stretch asked.

“Seen it trampled into the ground by fleeing people.”

“But...you’ve never eaten it?”

“Don’t need to. Can’t die of starvation. Idiot.” Error huffed at him.

Before Stretch could respond three pairs of arms charged out from within the kitchen, wrapped themselves around him and yanked him into a hug. 

“Sweetie pie, where have you been lately? It’s so lonely here without you and Blue. Don’t tell me you’ve been off causing trouble again. You know how I worry,” Muffet said.

“Mom please. I’m not a kid anymore.” Stretch squirmed, escaping a hug with six appendages was easier said than done. Muffet may not be his biological parent, but she had the qualifications. She cared for the pair when they were younger, always kept a place for them in her home and was determined to embarrass him with baby talk or cuddles any chance she got.

Eventually, she released him, straightened her waistcoat, and held out her hand to Error. “Who’s your friend? He looks so cute in your hoodie.”

“Don’t touch me,” Error replied.

“Please, don’t start anything,” Stretch said.

Muffet only laughed and leaned over the counter. “Oh honey, this is my turf. If he tried anything my little babies would swarm and eat him alive from the inside out.” 

Error glared. “Is that a threat?”

“Just stating a fact deary.” She handed him a spoon by the end, letting him take it without needing to touch her. “Enjoy your cake.”

He let out a low growl and took a bite.

His body froze. The utensil tilted in his hand. Had he crashed? That wouldn’t be easy to explain.

Stretch jolted back when the other snatched up the plate and shovelled down the rest. Then he grabbed Stretch’s cake and did the same.

Something told him objecting wouldn’t be the smartest move. Besides, the look of utter bliss on the glitch’s face was worth it. Since he couldn’t order things normally, this was probably the first time he’d ever had a homemade hot dessert from a Muffet. Horror’s food was great, but there was something to be said for someone who could charge the prices she did and still have people coming back.

Error finished the last bite and let out a deep contented sigh. Which quickly turned to a cough when he noticed the pair watching him. “I want to try everything on the menu.” 

What?! His tab couldn’t handle that. He gave Muffet an uneasy smile. “Family discount?”

Muffet smiled back. “Those are a myth, a mother wants her boys to be responsible.” 

He really didn’t want to be responsible for that bill. He tried to slide the menu away from the other skeleton.

Error thrust his hand into a portal and slammed a pile of gold onto the counter, easily enough to pay Stretch’s tab three times over. “I want to try anything that’s not on the menu too.”

“Coming up.” Muffet scooped the money into her pockets and disappeared back into the kitchen.

Stretch only stared for a moment before he leaned over to Error and questioned what the heck that was about. 

“Did you think I was broke?” The other played with his spoon while he rolled his eyes at him. “Picture how much cash is in the palace then think about how many worlds I’ve destroyed. They don’t need it, so if I want to, I can just help myself.”

“Are you trying to tell me you could single-handedly destroy the economy of any AU you wanted if they actually let you participate in it?” 

Error smirked.

Stretch made a mental note to never borrow money from him. Tempting as it was, between owing debts to the glitch or Muffet, he’d take the venomous spider woman any day.

He wandered over to the jukebox and peered at the selection. “Any requests?”

“Why’re you being so nice to me?” Error asked.

“Don’t think they have that one pal, how’s it go?” 

Error scowled.

Stretch pushed a button. Slow cheerful guitar music followed him back to his stool. Sure, the other had kidnapped Blue and caused him a lot of grief but, hadn’t they come a long way since then? Hadn’t he and his brother become closer? He didn’t miss coming home to find Blue crying over a friend getting hurt and not being allowed to know who he was talking about or having to lie about his job as a Judge. Even before then, they’d dreamed of seeing the surface together and somehow that’d become the entire multiverse. Things were so different now, thinking about it was like thinking about strangers.

He slumped forward. “As far as that goes it’s cinder.”

Error’s scowl deepened. “Huh?”

“ _Cinder_ past. It’ll block you, weigh you down, but if you can’t keep moving forward, you’re a square.”

The other’s hand twitched. “I don’t know if that was wise or a good reason to punch you in the nose.” 

Stretch shrugged. “ _Snot_ your best idea.”

Thread snatched his body, slamming him into a wall. With a sense of irony he didn’t know the other possessed, the string whipped around his limbs and wove itself into a large spiderweb.

“Funny,” Stretch said. “Now let me down before someone sees.”

Error turned to a group of spiders clambering onto the counter with cookies. He took a bite of one. “These are more important, get yourself down comedian.”

Shouldn’t have pushed his luck. Stretch flailed at the trap. It held tight, not budging an inch.

Muffet strolled out of the kitchen with more plates. A gasp escaped her when she saw him. She scrambled to his side, examined every part of the web, and tugged at the thinner areas.

Stretch groaned. He did not want to explain to his mom why a mass murderer was eating cookies in her cafe while wearing his hoodie.

She moved her face to his skull and lowered her voice. “Sweetie. What did I tell you about the people you meet across the multiverse? If you find any rich, handsome, sweet-toothed spider men you’re supposed to introduce me properly.”

This was worse. 

“Mom, he’s not a spider monster. Please untie me before the locals walk in.”

Muffet stroked a finger along a string. “That’s okay, I can keep an open mind. The capture spiral is perfect, a work of art and the thread density is strong, but so fine. Can you do this for the whole cafe?” she asked Error.

The glitch yanked his hood further over his skull and stuffed a doughnut into his mouth. “No.”

“Ever tried a triple sundae with brownie pieces, chocolate syrup, whipped cream and sprinkles?”

“Deal.” Error raised his arm. His magic streamed from within the long sleeves like blue ribbons. They coated the ceiling in a vast array of patterned webs. Large ones with moons and stars woven into their designs. Small ones with complex geometric shapes. A few strings even dangled down and shaped themselves into tiny hammocks and rope swings.

Spiders slid, snuggled, and played with the new decorations. Several baby ones wandered towards the hooded skeleton to either rub against him or stare at the cake on his plate. He curled his arm around it. They scurried to his left and the arm followed. However, after a few minutes of intense silent begging he groaned and crumbled some cookies into their tiny bouncing mouths.

A pile of empty dishes on the counter clattered as more little waiters scurried to replace them with fresh treats.

Muffet giggled as she untangled Stretch. “He certainly has a healthy appetite. Do you think he’ll stop soon?”

“Sure, go over there and tell him what it’s made of,” Stretch said, picking himself off the floor.

“Papyrus!” she scolded. “But...is he single?”

Stretch fought not to try to hide in his own shirt. What was with everyone today? Error was old enough, despite how he acted, but he never pegged him as the fighting them back with a stick type. Unless it was a very large pointy stick. In any case, he better put a stop to this before he got stuck calling the destroyer of worlds ‘dad.’

“Mom...no.”

Muffet sighed and placed her chin in her hand. “Pity...how dedicated is he to his girlfriend and where can I find her?”

“Mom! No! He’s single just no!” 

She patted his shoulder. “Oh sweetie, okay I’ll stop.”

Why didn’t he believe her?

\-----

A few hours later the cafe door creaked open. Blue stuck his skull through. 

“Mom, have you seen Papy?” he asked.

Muffet stood up from behind the counter and placed a finger to her lips. She gestured to a nearby booth. “They moved after the honey drinking contest started.”

Stretch slumped over a table, moaning into a pile of empty bear shaped bottles. Error was on the floor. A spider patterned blanket covered his chest.

“Rematch,” he said.

Stretch opened an eye socket. “Anytime.”

“Papy! You are a terrible influence.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are looking up for Error...or down an embarrassing spiral of questions once the gang hear about this. 
> 
> If you liked it, let me know in the comments. I'm happy to listen to any suggestions for missions, situations or anything else anyone would like to see.
> 
> And I have an announcement, I'm challenging myself to do 12 short one shots this month as part of a 12 days of Christmas personal challenge. I'm going to focus mainly on just having fun with them and I'm also open to suggestions for that too.


End file.
